Full of Grace
by takoyn Kudou
Summary: Someone is leaving in the middle of the night....who is it? Songfic, ?x?
1. Default Chapter

Hi hi! Here's another little do-dad that I wrote. Yet another songfic...is that really a big surprise? Anyway, I don't mention names in it so I would love to hear who you think the two people are. I'm not even sure myself....   
Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss or the song Full of Grace. They belong to their rightful owners.   
  
  


Full of Grace

  
  
It's dark in our room. Through the window I can see snow fluttering about.  
_The winter here's cold, and bitter_  
It looks cold out. I suppose I should dress warm. Don't want to get sick.  
_It's chilled us to the bone_  
I don't suppose it would bother you that much. If I got sick that is. All we've done lately is fight. I've been fighting on the inside as well. Fighting with what I should do.  
_We haven't seen the sun for weeks_  
The fighting has made this place unbearable. It's far from what we use to call home.  
_Too long too far from home_  
The tension has been thick. It's made me not want to come home. It's been making me depressed.  
_I feel just like I'm sinking_  
I've been trying hard. I really have. I've been trying to find something meaningful left between us. I feel like I'm grabbing at nothing though.  
_And I claw for solid ground_  
Your anger, cold looks, bluntness, blatantly ignoring me has built up. It's been pushing me away from you.   
_I'm pulled down by the undertow_  
It's been affecting me, you know that? Your comments, the things you yell. When you yell at me and tell me I'm stupid. I caught myself believing in once. I've never felt so horrible in my life as I did at that moment. Believing the person that I loved and was suppose to love me thought that I was stupid.  
_I never though I could feel so low_  
I almost thought of ending it then. Being gone and dead and never bothering you again with my stupid comments or thoughts ever again. I didn't know that someone could feel like that. It was a gut-wrenching feeling that made me sick.   
_Oh darkness I feel like letting go_  
That was only a week ago. You didn't notice. I wish you had. Maybe I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing right now. You know how I felt once I realized that you didn't notice or that you did and didn't care? Like I hated you. Like I wanted to yell and scream at you and hurt you like you hurt me. But that's not me. I don't yell, I don't scream. I just remain silent. I remain silent and do things like what I'm about to do.  
_If all of the strength and all of the courage_  
While thinking I've been picking up some things from around the room. Namely things like my brush, deodorant, things you would have noticed if I had packed them earlier. My clothes are already in bags in the closet. I open the closet door and pick them up off the floor.   
_Come and lift me from this place_  
I can't believe this is the last time I'll see you. I remember meeting you for the first time. You moved so smoothly.  
_Full of grace_  
You moved so delicately. Like you weren't really walking. You looked beautiful to me.  
_Full of grace_  
I loved you right then.  
_My love_  
  
  
  
It's best for me to do this.   
_It's better this way, I said_  
I've had this happen to me before. Only I was the one in the bed asleep while the other left.   
_Having seen this place before_  
We use to argue, him and I. He left me. Kind of like how I'm leaving you. Only things got further than we did. He left after he hit me.   
_Where everything we say and do_  
He felt awful about it. I told him it was okay. That I brought it on myself. I did provoke him. I was yelling at him. The one time I did yell and I said something I shouldn't have. I yelled and hit his most vulnerable point. He snapped and hit me. I don't blame him. I would have hit me too.  
_Hurts us all the more_  
I don't want to hit you. I know I will if I stay. You'll yell something you shouldn't and then I'll snap and I'll hit you. I won't forgive myself for that. I don't think I ever could. Maybe that's why I'm leaving. Leaving before I can do something that I regret. Or maybe it's because we've been in this too long and we're both afraid to get out. I guess I'm taking the first step.   
_It's just that we've stayed, too long_  
We just don't know how to let things go, do we? Both of us have hung onto our past and stopped looking at what's ahead. Maybe that's why our relationship has suffered. Maybe we're both living in the past still.  
_In the same old sickly skin_  
I don't think my past will ever let me rest. I don't think I can ever be as happy as I was back then. My past keeps dragging me back to one time when everything came crashing down around me.   
_I'm pulled down by the undertow_  
It haunts me now and then. When it does I feel miserable. I feel like nothing will make me better. That was until I found you. You made me better. You made me happy. You brought some of the joy I felt in my past back. Until a week ago that is. When I felt that you stopped caring about me.  
_I never thought I could feel so low_  
Now I'm going. I'm leaving. I'm going to go somewhere else and start over again. I've done it before so I can do it again. Maybe I'll find someone who can make me happy like you made me. I doubt it though. For almost two years you made me happy. And then you turned on me. I should have known that something was going to go wrong. I did in my last relationship.  
_Oh darkness I feel like letting go_  
I put the note on my side of the bed on the pillow. It tells you I've left and that I'm not coming back.   
_If all of the strength and all of the courage_  
I pick up my bag from the floor and sling it over my shoulder. I open the door to the hall.  
_Come and lift me from this place_  
I look over my shoulder at you.   
_I know I could love you much better than this_  
I close the door and wait for the taxi to come and get me.   
_Full of grace_  
It pulls up and I put my bag in the trunk. I get in and close the door.  
_Full of grace_  
We pull away from the house. I pull away from you  
_My love_  
  
_I know I can love you much better than this  
It's better this way_  
  
  
  
~owari~   
  
So....who do you think it is? 


	2. Grace from the bed

Hi hi! I thought since I didn't say who the characters were (because even I don't know) I thought I'd write a second half to this fic. I wonder if this helps any of you determine who it is.......Anyway same old disclaimer: don't either of 'em so don't sue me! Enjoy! I really wanna hear who you think it is....  
  
  
  


Full of Grace (the other side)

  
I feel you move beside me. I can feel you sit up. I open my eyes and look out the window. It's dark and snowing.  
_The winter here's cold, and bitter_  
A draft sweeps in under the blankets as you get up. I feel a shiver go down my spine.   
_It's chilled us to the bone_  
I wonder if you're getting up to go to the bathroom. I don't think you are. I haven't heard the door open or close. I don't move. I haven't moved since I heard you get up. I want you to think I'm still asleep. Are you leaving?  
_We haven't seen the sun for weeks_  
If you leave it won't feel like home anymore. I don't have a home, you know that. This room with you is the closest thing to home for me. If you leave than it'll be just another place.   
_Too long too far from home_  
I feel bad for what I have done to you lately. I've yelled a lot. I don't mean too. I'm just fighting on the inside with what's been going on in my life lately. I can't even begin to explain it to you. I'm sorry. I'm having enough trouble explaining it to myself.  
_I feel just like I'm sinking_  
When I look at you I try to smile but for some reason I can't anymore. Not since I heard about you and him. I know it was in the past but it still hurts. I'm fighting for reason to smile now. Something in me is nagging at me that you still love him even though he hurt you. I wish I could smile.  
_And I claw for solid ground_  
I feel like my life has been consumed by a hatred for him. I feel like he's taking over your life again. I know it's been a long time since you've seen him but I'm jealous. I've heard you mention his name in passing. I see that look in your eyes when you do. I don't like it.   
_I'm pulled down by the undertow_  
I caught myself yelling at you a while ago. I caught what I said. I called you stupid. I didn't realize it when I yelled it but if felt good when I did it. I thought you were thinking about him. I wanted to get some of the anger I felt out. So I took it out on you thinking you were the safest person to do it to. You would forgive me regardless right? I guess I was wrong. I saw the hurt in your eyes after I said it. It made me feel like scum.  
_I never thought I could feel so low_  
I wanted to say sorry then. I wanted to hold you and tell you how much I loved you but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just left you standing there with your head hanging. I walked past you and went back to work. I thought you would have done something then. Yelled, broken up with me, something. That would have made me feel better. But no, you didn't yell. You never yell. When you didn't react it caused a gut-wrenching feel in me.  
_Oh darkness I feel like letting go_  
I wish I could move right now. I can bring myself to. I can't bring myself to get up and hold you. I can't bring myself to say 'I'm sorry'. Two little words that could change everything.   
_If all of the strength and all of the courage_  
I hear you open the closest door and a zipper being zipped. I saw those bags on the closet floor. I was hoping that they were empty. I was too afraid to check. I think you think I don't know about them. I do. I couldn't bring myself to do anything about them. Why can't I get up?  
_Come and lift me from this place_  
I don't deserve you. I don't deserve all that you have to offer. You deserve someone who could love you better.   
I know I could love you much better than this  
I remember seeing you for the first time. You were beautiful.  
_Full of grace_  
I was in awe of everything you did  
_Full of grace_  
I loved you right then.  
_My love_  
  
  
  
I want to know what you're thinking. Maybe you think it's best to do this. I suppose it is.  
_It's better this way, I said_  
I've been this position before. I've been left before. Never quite like this but I have been. I didn't love them like I love you though.  
_Having seen this place before_  
I suppose it's for the best though. Who knows what'll happen if you stay. I may become like him. He hit you and left you. You told me. I'm afraid of becoming him. You always said that I reminded you of him. Is that why you loved me? Or said you loved me?   
_Where everything we say and do_  
Maybe I'm already worse than him. I may not have hit you but I think I've hurt you with what I've said. I called you horrible things. I can't believe it know but I know I did. I'm sorry.  
_Hurts us all the more_  
Why are you leaving? I want to know. Are you afraid of me becoming him and hitting you? I don't know. Maybe it's that fear that has been keeping me from you. Maybe I've been afraid of hurting you. Maybe that's why you're leaving. Maybe we've been together for just too long.  
_It's just that we've stayed too long_  
Do I remind you of him that much? So much that I remind you of a man that hit you and left you? I feel like my skin doesn't belong to me any more. I feel like you see me as him.   
_In the same old sickly skin_  
I'm sorry. These thoughts have plagued me for so long.   
_I'm pulled down by the undertow_  
They've ripped me up inside.   
_I never thought I could feel so low_  
I wish I had the guts you do. I wish I could say something to you about how I feel but I can't. Maybe it's for the best that you're leaving.   
_Oh darkness I feel like letting go_  
NO! No! It's not alright. I don't want you to leave me. I want to say I'm sorry. I hear a car door close. Wait! Please!  
_If all of the strength all of the courage_  
I throw myself from the bed and run out the door.   
_Come and lift me from this place_  
I race down the stairs dressed only in my boxers.  
_I know I could love you much better than this_  
I rip the door open and throw myself out side.   
_Full of grace_  
I look down the street to see your cab turning the corner.   
_Full of grace_  
I've missed you. I'm sorry.  
_My love_  
  
_I know I could love you much better than this  
It's better this way_  
  
~owari~  
  
-any other thoughts on who it could be? Please review!  
also anyone who can find a mistake I made in the song lyrics in the first chapter will get an email knowing who the fic is about.  



End file.
